El Cardquistador

The Fine Line Between Community and Commerce

Direct messages in the hobby are a funny thing. They can be a blessing or a curse. Sometimes a DM leads to a real connection, a fair deal, or even a friendship. Other times, it feels like a cold call from a telemarketer who just wants your wallet.

For me, it comes down to context.

The Bad DM

If you DM me just to tell me a card I might want is in your auction, you’re wasting both of our time. That’s not a favor — it’s advertising. Same goes for telling me it’s in your store at sticker price. If it hasn’t moved, there’s probably a reason. Don’t shove it into my inbox as if that suddenly makes it more appealing.

And don’t come at me blind just because you saw me ask for something in a stream. Half the time, I’m only chasing that card in the moment to support the seller running the show. It doesn’t mean I’ve got a lifelong need for that particular piece of cardboard.

The Good DM

The best DMs are about people, not products. They are a tool for building relationships, not just for moving inventory. If we’ve already built some trust, if you’re offering a card I actually collect, and if it’s reasonably priced (not inflated due to emotional attachment or a misunderstanding of the market), then yes — I’ll listen. That’s not spam; that’s respect. You’re giving me first shot at something I might want without dangling it in an auction just to drive bids.

Also — heads-up DMs about your upcoming show? Totally fine. That’s not teasing me; that’s letting me know what’s coming and giving me a chance to participate if I want. It’s a genuine heads-up, not an attempt to manipulate my bids.

Why It Matters

DMs shouldn’t be about juicing competition or funneling traffic. They should be about relationships, respect, and actually adding value to the conversation. Otherwise, they start to feel like noise — and noise is the fastest way to make collectors tune you out.

The Code

So here’s my rule of thumb:

• DM me if we’re established, if you’re offering a fair, reasonable deal, and if you’ve actually got me in mind.
• DM me about your upcoming show? Totally cool.
• Don’t DM me to drive bids in your auction.
• Don’t DM me to point at your store at full price.
• Don’t assume a want in one stream equals a permanent want list.

Keep DMs meaningful, and they’ll always have a place in the hobby. Ignore that, and you’re just another notification I don’t want to open.